“…don’t say, ‘Now I can pay them back for what they’ve done to me! I’ll get even with them!'”
— Proverbs 24:29
For many Christians going through a divorce, the courtroom can feel like the final battleground—an opportunity to “set the record straight” or to make the other person pay for the pain they’ve caused. But Scripture paints a different picture. Proverbs 24 warns us not to use our words or actions to repay wrong for wrong. It reminds us that vengeance, even when cloaked in legal proceedings, does not reflect the heart of God.
The Temptation to Get Even
When betrayal, abandonment, or deep hurt enters a marriage, it’s human to want justice. But there is a fine line between seeking justice and seeking revenge. In the context of a divorce, that line can be crossed when one spouse uses litigation as a weapon—filing motions not for necessity but to wear the other person down, demanding unfair settlements out of spite, or weaponizing children in custody battles.
But the Christian is called to something higher.
Justice Belongs to God
“Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ sayd the Lord.”
— Romans 12:19
God sees. He knows every tear you’ve cried, every unfair word spoken against you, every betrayal. But He has not given you the courtroom as a tool to balance the scales of justice in your favor. That’s His job. Yours is to walk in integrity, even in heartbreak.
This doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to be taken advantage of in the legal process—Scripture is not calling you to be passive. But it does mean that your heart should not be set on retribution. You can protect your interests without punishing your spouse.
Speak Truth, Walk Humbly
“He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”
— Micah 6:8
As Christians, we are not only accountable for our actions but for the attitude of our hearts. When you enter the courtroom, do so seeking peace, fairness, and resolution—not revenge. Your words and your motives matter. Be truthful, but do not exaggerate. Be firm, but not cruel. Advocate for your children, but don’t alienate them from their other parent.
What Legacy Will You Leave?
One day, this chapter of your life will be behind you. Your children—if you have them—will grow and reflect on how you handled this season. What story will they tell? Will they remember a parent who clung to bitterness and sought to destroy the other? Or will they remember a parent who, though wounded, chose to respond with grace and dignity?
A Better Witness
Divorce does not disqualify you from living as a witness to Christ. In fact, how you walk through your divorce may be one of the most powerful testimonies you ever give. In a culture that celebrates vengeance and “getting what’s yours,” choosing mercy speaks volumes.
Reflection Questions:
•Am I using the legal process to seek fairness—or to punish?
•What would it look like to pursue peace and integrity in my case?
•Have I asked God to examine my motives and help me lay down my desire for vengeance?
As you navigate this difficult journey, remember: the courtroom is not your battleground. It is a place for resolving legal issues—not for satisfying emotional wounds. Let God be your defender. Let Him bring healing. And trust that in surrendering your right to get even, you gain something far greater: peace, integrity, and a heart aligned with His.
